Faceblech

I’ve been thinking on this for awhile now, but never considered writing about it before. I don’t know why, other than the fact that it will out me as being un-hip. (Actually, using the term “hip” at all might out me as being, well, un-hip. I digress.)

Here’s the thing. Facebook, for me, is a very bad thing.

Some of you are nodding your heads enthusiastically in emphatic agreement with me. Some of you, even, are speed reading this post so that you can quickly get back to your own Facebook accounts and update your status or check other people’s statuses or whatever. Your problem with Facebook, though, is not my problem. My problem with the social networking site isn’t that it’s a vacuum for my time. My problem with it is that it invites me to feel badly about myself.

Y’all, I do that just fine on my own, thankyouverymuch.

See, when I get on my own Facebook page, I’m fine with what I see. Sweet pictures of my family, loving comments from friends….those are nice. When I meander to other folks’ pages, though, problems arise.

First, I see how many friends they all have. There’s the first tick mark on my tally of reasons for self consciousness. I have a hundred and something, while some of you have hundreds. Then I see the notes on everyone’s walls and the fun, perky status updates. I don’t have friends writing on my wall about upcoming plans, I don’t do super fun things during the day that are worth posting, and I don’t have a multitude of folks visiting my wall and commenting on my pictures. All of those things combine in my mind and scream, “Jess, you’re boring. Your life stinks.”

And here’s the thing: MY LIFE DOESN’T STINK! I love my life. Yes, I have bad days and yes, I have days where there are other things I would rather be doing than what I’m doing right then. We all do, though, don’t we?

My life is wonderful. I have a fantastic marriage, a husband who’s better than I could have conjured in my dreams, a daughter who lights up my world even when I’m frustrated by being her mommy, a family who loves me and is always there for me, a church home that I absolutely adore….. There is nothing about my life that stinks. Nothing.

When held up to the standards created by Facebook, though, something in my mind clicks over and tries to convince me that my life is lacking something crucial. Something tries to tell me that I’m not who I would/should/could be, and that my life is falling miserably short….just because it’s not like everyone else’s. This is ridiculous, and while I realize that fully, I still fall victim to the mental assault when I wander around the network of smiling, happy people.

So friends, if you wonder why I have a Facebook page but rarely add anything or update anything or visit you, it’s because self preservation is more important to me, oftentimes, than catching up on who’s doing what. It has to be, and I have to admit I’m kinda proud of myself for reaching that conclusion.

Jessica is finished ranting.