Sleep Lady Shuffle: (Unofficial) Night #1

Last night we unofficially began the Sleep Lady Shuffle, which – as I mentioned in the post below – slowly teaches children to fall asleep on their own as their parents gradually move out of their rooms. I hadn’t planned on starting this soon, so we rocked Leah to sleep as we’ve been doing at bedtime. At 2:00 or so, though, Scott and I awoke to Leah s.c.r.e.a.m.i.n.g her little head off. As quickly as I could, I grabbed my glasses (because I’m blind as a bat without them) and some socks (because my poor toes can’t stand these marathon rocking sessions we’ve been doing lately) and made my way upstairs. By the time I got up there, Leah was in a total fit, reaching as far as her little arms would allow her to over the crib rails. I figured that after crying so hard, she wouldn’t want to go back to sleep for awhile; surprisingly, though, she fell asleep quickly once I picked her up and rocked her for a minute.

“Hunh,” I thought. “That almost seemed too easy….but she’s breathing deeply and is definitely asleep.” With that observation, I decided to put her back in her crib.

Psychic Baby was onto me, though. As soon as I moved toward the crib, she began wailing.

Three separate times.

At that point, I realized that she just wanted me to hold her all night…which I just wasn’t willing to do. Though she was waking up, I put her in her crib and, as the Sleep Lady suggests, moved the glider across the room and sat by her crib. She fussed. She cried. She wailed and panicked and reached for me in the most heart-wrenching way. She stomped her little pajama-clad feet and feel down. She screamed and gave me reason to believe she was dying. I knew better, though, and refused to pick her back up. (I’m getting really good at this. The other night, during one similar incident, I’m convinced she intentionally soiled – yes, soiled – her diaper in an effort to get me to take her out of her crib. Ever the savvy mom, though, I didn’t fall for it. I changed her diaper with her in the crib…in the dark…and stood my ground.)

This drama went on for 2 hours. TWO HOURS. I never picked her back up – because the Sleep Lady says not to, and I figure there’s no sense following some of her advice if not all of it – but I ssh-ed and patted her and kissed her. The closest I came to picking her up was hugging her while she stood in the crib.

It was hard. I definitely had to keep reminding myself that what we were doing would ultimately be good for her, and that things often have to get worse before they get better. She even started dozing off leaning on the crib rail, using her blanket as a pillow. Her little legs were giving out and she’d fall onto her bottom, then onto her side, and then would instantly pop back up to make sure I was still there. She fought hard, but eventually – at 4:30, after two complete rounds of her CD – she fell asleep.

Here’s the wrap-up of (unofficial) night #1:

Shuffle position: CRIBSIDE

To bed on her own: NO

Back to sleep on her own: YES

Cry-time: intermittently for 2 hours…probably a total of 45 minutes.

Rocking: NO

Bottle: NO

Music: YES

Success: YES

Tonight, we start at bedtime. Update tomorrow.

“Good Night, Sleep Tight,” by Kim West

A couple of months ago I wrote about some sleep problems we were having with Leah. I won’t rehash them all here; I’ll just say that because of these troubles I bought and have been reading Good Night, Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady’s Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go To Sleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake Up Happy, by Kim West. This lady has devoted her career to children’s sleep and the problems that can arise with it, and she has some really incredible insights. The book mainly covers a spectrum of worst-case scenarios, and in those families’ stories, I think everyone can catch a glimpse of their own situation.

There are two big things I learned from this book, which may or may not be revelations for you.

1 – Sleeping is a skill that has to be learned. For the first few months of their lives, we – as parents – have to create the magic that is sleep. Past a certain point, though, they don’t biologically need the help but have become so dependent on us rocking, feeding, ssh-ing, swaying, and patting them that they cannot sleep without it. Teaching our children to sleep is one of the most basic and essential responsibilities that we have as parents. (In fact, the Sleep Lady likens parents to coaches when it comes to teaching children to sleep. We can coach them, but ultimately we cannot do it for them.)

2 – Sleep begets sleep. This means, in essence, that any notion we have about our children being extra sleepy “so surely they’ll sleep well tonight…and maybe even sleep in tomorrow” is purely false. If a child is sleep deprived, sleeping becomes more – not less – difficult.

These ideas, for me, brought pure “eureka” moments and I, like the many other families who can vouch for the Sleep Lady’s methods, am convinced. I am starting the Sleep Lady Shuffle now.

The Sleep Lady Shuffle is, essentially, a kind way of teaching our children to go to sleep on their own while still remaining present enough that they know we are there and are available to help them if they need us. This method, unlike the infamous “cry it out” method, allows us to reassure our babies and teach them what they need to do to put themselves to sleep. We gradually inch ourselves out of the room…starting first by the cribside, then by the door, and then in the hallway over a two week period…and by the end, our little ones know how to cope with their tiredness: by going to sleep.

For our family – one that has rocked and coaxed and ssh-ed for many, many (sometimes futile) hours – this might be a good solution. It is our responsibility to teach Leah to sleep on her own, so any crying (on her part or ours) is only a result of tough love. We’re doing her a favor. This is a good thing for her, so I can feel good about it. I’ll be posting updates for you all, in case any of your families might benefit from this kind of sleep training. If you think this might be the answer your family needs, I highly recommend the Sleep Lady’s book.

This picture, for our family, reflects one of the target goals of this sleep training process. This is what “drowsy but awake” looks like:

I’ll explain more in my updates as I need to.

Filing 101, Taught by Leah

The other night while I was cooking supper, Scott seized the opportunity to sort through some old receipts and the like from this year. Some are going to be shredded, some are safe to recycle, and so on.

Leah, as it turns out, is quite good at sorting paper.

We were laughing so hard at her, but – as you can see – she was oblivious. She was in the zone.

“When We Were Little” Wednesday – New Year’s Edition

When I was little, New Year’s Eve carried a few traditions (surprise, surprise). There were a few years when Mom and Dad went out to dinner during the evening, leaving the three of us at home to watch Dick Clark and ring in the new year. (Remember, my older sister is 8 years older than me, so we were in good hands.) We would head out on the front porch at midnight (when we managed to stay up that late), drinking our sparkling cider and banging on pots and pans, screaming and shouting at the top of our lungs. (I’m sure our neighbors loved us.)

I remember one year in particular, something happened that caused me to say something about the “next time” that particular year came around. (As in, I thought that years came and went in cycles like the days of the week and the months of the year do.) Someone set me straight on my misconception and I remember actually crying because that year was gone forever. I had a strange feeling of loss that night, and regretted somehow that the year had come and gone without me realizing it was never coming back. That was a sad night.

Now, New Year’s is usually escorted in my sparklers and fireworks and merriment as everyone gathers at my parents’ house. This year, though, for *some reason* we won’t be ringing in the new year anywhere but at home…with Leah and, well, hopefully Mommy and Daddy sound asleep. Ah, how things change.

This picture isn’t from New Year’s, but it’s obviously in winter and so is the new year…so it seemed appropriate enough. And, obviously again, this wasn’t taken here in Georgia. That’s a lot of snow.

Go ahead. Count 'em. I'll wait.

Why the new look, you ask? I'll tell you.

For one thing, I get bored easily and it was time for a change.

For another thing, though, I felt something new was in order because - brace yourself - I just hit 1,000 POSTS.

1,000!

That, my friends, is a lot. The evolution of this blog has been interesting and, I dare say, it's probably not complete. It has gone from a tool to simply keep in touch with friends who live far too far away...to a way ot cataloging photos...to a way of exercising my writing muscles...to a way of making new friends...and, well, I'm not sure how I'd classify it now. It's a lot of things.

In any case, thank you all. If I didn't have anyone reading, I don't know if I'd have continued to write. But I do, so I will.

And well...I'm kinda addicted to this blogging thing.

A New Normal

Leah did not take a single bottle today. Instead, she did this:

All day. She has used a sippy sup before, but until this week it has been more the exception than the rule. Until this week, actually, she was quite content being lazy and making Mommy or Daddy or whoever hold a bottle for her, though she was perfectly capable of holding it on her own. If we let go of it, though, she would let it flop onto the floor or her high chair tray or her lap. Now, though, she has made a leap to drinking out of a cup all the time. While easy for her, it has been a hard adjustment for me to make. While I love the idea of not washing bottles all the time, I don’t know if I’m ready for her to be and look so grown up. (She even drank out of an actual cup – without a spout or a lid or anything – all on her own in the bathtub the other night. Yes, she was drinking bath water, but still. A real grownup cup? Really?)

It makes me happy for her, that she’s growing and learning so much and is doing so well, but it makes me so selfishly sad for me. Where did my baby go?

(Your Face Here)

Snapshots of Her First Christmas

December 23 – The festivities began at Weezer and Granddad’s house. Fancy foods, games, a present apiece, and caroling. Christmas dress #1. Highlights: dancing while everyone sings, fresh pineapple, chasing Ashley Marie around with a big purple ball.

December 24 – Candlelight services at church. Christmas dress #2. New Christmas pajamas from Weezer. Granddad reads “The Night Before Christmas.” Highlights: playing with Granddad’s hair, tackling Ashley Marie.

Later on December 24 – Mommy and Daddy play Santa.

Early on December 25 – Breakfast and presents with Mommy and Daddy. Highlights: wrapping paper, noisy pony, and Elmo.

Midday December 25 – to Weezer and Granddad’s house for gift-opening and Christmas dinner. Highlights: musical aquarium, inflatable cow, Busy Ball Popper, ribbons, ham, and pine needles.

After dinner December 25 – to Aunt Michelle’s house for gifts with her cousins. Highlights: trucks, juice, and Uncle Craig’s huge TV.

Evening on December 25 – back to Weezer and Granddad’s house for stockings. Highlights: playing peekaboo under Weezer’s tablecloth, rummaging through Weezer’s stocking stuff for candy, hairbows in her stocking, and wearing a purse on her head.

It was quite a day.

Have you ever taken a picture of someone’s tonsils from across the room?

I have.

You've gotta see the humor in it.

If you haven't heard this song already, you have to hear it now. I have a feeling some of you might relate to it. (And no, that's not me in the video. If it were, that would sorta beg the question of who those children are.)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of my readers and everyone who has shared your lives with me through your blogs. Your friendship means the world to me, and has been a very real blessing to me this year. Blessings to you and your families this Christmas, and may you remember the reason for this day every day.

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. (Luke 2:16-20)

“NKJV Greatest Stories of the Bible”

This book is awesome! Thomas Nelson Publishers gave me a chance to review a copy of my own, and I’m so glad I took them up on the offer.

Basically, this is a collection of 250 of the greatest stories in the Bible, written out in paragraph and chapter form. The Biblical chapters and verses are still included, and the translation is the New King James Version. It’s great.

The book itself is gorgeous, too, and I’m thinking it would be awesome to have as a family heirloom.

I love it. I’ll admit that I didn’t read right through it, cover to cover, Genesis to Revelation, but I did skim the table of contents and read the stories I haven’t read in awhile. It’s great for that, since you can check the contents and flip straight to the story you’re looking for. One downside, though, is that by reading Scripture this way, you lose some of the contextual tidbits that sometimes shed important light on the story.

All in all, though, I think it’s a great book. I wish I could get one for everyone I know.

“When We Were Little” Wednesday: Christmas Edition

When I was little, there was no shortage of Christmas tradition in my family. We were – and are – a very tradition-oriented family, and the idea of changing things is met with a considerable amount of resistance. Because it will take a year and a half to write every one of them out in paragraph form, I’m going to resort to a good old-fashioned list. And please, don’t assume this is an exhaustive list. This is just what I’m thinking of right this second. I’m sure more will come to mind over the next day or so.

1 – Church on Christmas Eve. Always. Silent Night and candlelight and the whole shebang. For whatever reason, we would always dress up more, it seems like, for the Christmas Eve service than we did for Sunday mornings and this, for me, has carried over into adulthood. I always feel like I should dress up on Christmas Eve, even though my Sunday morning look is very casual. Leah, I’m sure, will be quite spiffy, too.

2 - “Fancy foods” for supper on Christmas Eve. Our fancy foods weren’t *really* all that fancy – they were finger foods like crackers and beef stick and cheese ball and shrimp cocktail and fruit platters – but that’s what we called it. Everyone would gather at the house after church and we’d all eat the “fancy foods” around the Christmas tree before playing some Christmas-themed games and singing Christmas carols as Dad played the piano. While we were all gathered there, we would take a family picture by the tree.

3 – “’Twas the Night Before Christmas,” read by my dad to anyone who will listen. It used to be my sisters and me, with the adults looking on, but now it’s the granddaughters who are the main audience. This is one of my favorite pictures ever:

4 - “Christmas Gift!” This, probably, is the silliest tradition my family has. We’ve always, always done it…to the point that several people claim the origins of the tradition to be different things. I won’t take sides and give credit to anyone, though. Basically, the tradition goes something like this: The first time you see anyone on Christmas morning, you shout, “Christmas gift!” at them. In the beginnings of this tradition, back in the Great Depression (I told you it’s been around a long time!), the person to whom “Christmas gift” was called had to give up a Christmas gift which, at that time, was quite the simple pleasure. Now, though, we don’t give our gifts away….but we do still holler at each other. It’s just what we do, and it’s absolutely hilarious to introduce new people to the tradition. You should have seen Scott’s face the first Christmas he spent with my family. He knew from minute one that it was going to be a weird day…and actually, that any time he spent with me would be weird.

5 – Opening one gift at a time. My dad plays Santa on Christmas morning (and sometimes even wears a Santa hat), and he distributes the gifts one at a time to each of us. The first round is front youngest to oldest, and the last round is from oldest to youngest. Everything in between has little rhyme or reason, but it takes a really, really long time as we all watch everyone open gifts and check out what everyone receives. We all have “our seats,” too, where we sit every year. Gift-opening at our house easily takes several hours, which is why…

6 – …we take a breakfast break in the middle. Sausage biscuits have been on the menu since I can remember, and cinnamon rolls have been added in recent years. Yummy.

7 – Stockings. We usually save the stockings for Christmas night, after we’ve all had a snack of Christmas dinner leftovers and have napped and played games and are pretty delirious from Christmas merriment. The stockings, I think, are my favorite part.

I’m sure there are more, but I think you get the idea. Christmas is a fabulous time in my family, and the traditions make it so much of what it is. Some traditions have been changed or tweaked as the years have gone on, and some have been added in more recent years, but the same idea is there, and it’s still fun for everyone.