Let There Be Light

Infinite Grace

The following is a true story of what happened this past weekend at the Women of Faith conference in Atlanta. True story, and very powerful.

As the speaker told her story, illustrating her point, she held the audience in rapt attention. The story was a good one, full of gesticulating and humor, and the women to whom she spoke were eager to hear the end of it. How would the story come back around? How would she tie it in to her talk? How would this one speak to their hearts?

Then, at a pivotal moment in the story, it happened. The word came out. The word that no one expected to hear at a Christian women's conference. The word that could have been easily substituted but which, in all honesty, was true to the way it had happened. She said the word that everyone probably would have said in that situation, but no one would admit to.....only she had said it in front of an arena full of women.

Before the word left her mouth, her complexion turned a surprising shade of crimson. Something had obviously gone wrong, and she was obviously mortified. Her hands flew to her face and covered her mouth as her eyes grew wide. "I'm so sorry," she said, over and over, clearly humiliated that such a word could have escaped her mouth at such a moment and in such a place. "I'm just so sorry. Please know that I am very sorry."

As she stood in horror and eventually made her way off the stage, unable to finish her talk, the arena burst into thunderous applause. This woman - who, moments ago, had been on a pedestal few could live up to, and who had a reputation within the Christian community as a woman of tremendous influence - had become vulnerable. Suddenly, she was real. Suddenly, she was just like the rest of them, and they had never respected her more. She was not perfect, but in her flaws she gave them hope. Cheers and applause escorted her to her seat, despite her obvious embarrassment and desire to escape the entire scene.

Then, in a moment more powerful than any moment of the conference, the audience began chanting.

"Grace. Grace. Grace. Grace."

Tears poured from the speaker's eyes as she realized what was happening. Though she had just spoken and sung of God's grace in her presentation, the audience was demonstrating grace unlike any she could have expected in that moment. Despite her grievous error, they forgave her. Despite her clear imperfection, they loved her.

And in the middle of it all, a young woman in the third balcony came to understand grace in a way that she had never understood it before.

Grace. Infinite grace.

Hair-raising

Fact: I have begun experiencing indigestion.

Fact: According to BabyCenter.com, our baby's hair now has color and texture.

Fact: Scott and I have said for years that if our children's hairis as quirky as our hair, it will be very, very interesting. We have even been calling this little one "Quigley" at times, which is an actual name that means - no kidding - "one with messed up hair."

Old Wives' Tale: When the mother has lots of indigestion during pregnancy, the baby will be born with lots of hair.

Something to think about, huh?

24 Weeks

Another great week.....about which I have no complaints, but I'm afraid it doesn't make for a very interesting weekly update.

Symptom-wise I haven't had too many new developments, I don't think. I have had that neat ligament pain down my side a couple of times, though; once, it actually came during the day and kept me from being somewhere that I needed to go. Over the past couple of days I've gotten a tightness in my chest - right at the bottom of my ribs - that feels almost like someone's pressing down on my rib cage. It hurts at times and makes me feel short of breath. Scott told me, though, that I seem to be winding up on my back more often as I'm sleeping, though, so perhaps that's part of it.

She's moving a lot, and I'm eating a lot. No change there!

I had a first this week: I signed my first permission slip for our little girl. I had to go to the hospital to preregister for the delivery (!) and I had to sign consents for them to treat me and for them to treat the baby. That seemed huge somehow. (It was also a little surprising that it was even time to do that. When they gave me the preregistration form at the doctor's office at 12 weeks, they told me that it wasn't urgent that I get it done, but that I had until 25 weeks to do it. At the time, that seemed so far away!)

I did have a doctor's appointment this week, which went really well. Baby and I are measuring perfectly for this point in the pregnancy; this was the first time he actually used a tape measure to look at that. I've gained a total of 16 pounds, which he says is "perfect." Her little heartbeat was just going, going, going, too. The doctor asked us some questions that were a little.....jarring....surprising.....exciting.....something.....to hear from him. "Do you want an epidural?" "Are you going to nurse?" "Do you have a pediatrician picked out?" I was thrilled when he told me that I would be able to nurse. I hadn't thought it would be a good idea since I'm on medication for anxiety, but he said that the medication I'm on won't pose any problem. (Besides, I'm taking the medication now, so she's already being exposed to it.) I'm very excited that I can at least try to nurse her. The doctor is sending me for my glucose screening, too, which I'm less than thrilled about. I wasn't expecting it quite yet, for one thing (I thought it would be next month), but I've heard lots of horror stories about it so I'm not particularly eager to do it. Lots of people have told me that it's not bad at all, though, so I'm clinging to those stories and not worrying about it. (After all, stressing about it only raises my blood sugar and increases my chances of failing the test!)

Consignment Extravaganza

For a long time I've listened with interest as women from my church talked about a consignment sale held by an area church twice a year. It is all children's items - clothing and toys and books and the like - so until now, I never had a reason to consider being a part of the mayhem that ensues when coveted items are marked at ridiculously low prices. Now, though, needing to build up a "layette" for our little girl, such things have new appeal.

As such, when I heard the sale was coming up soon, I marked my calendar and made plans to go.

Friday morning, I was out early and was there when they opened the doors. (I had to battle soccer moms in the parking lot and a stampede of strollers to get to those doors, but I made it. Finally.) When I stepped inside, I was breathless.......the entire church gymnasium was full of clothes. Row after row after row of clothes, starting at newborn size and going up to much older kids' sizes. (I didn't pay any attention to those racks. There were onesies to find.) Another room was filled to the same extent with toys and baby equipment (think strollers and car seats and swings and walkers). Breathless though I was, there was little time to consider the magnitude of what lay before me. I had to dive in.

An hour later, I emerged with my treasures. And they are treasures. Excellent baby items in excellent condition for excellent prices.

It was so good, in fact, that Mom and I went back Saturday for the 50% off sale. That's right. 50% off the already awesome prices. I didn't think there would be much left at that point (day 2 of a two-day sale doesn't always promise much) and thought that I would have to battle more soccer moms and strollers to get what was there. To our delight, though, there was still a lot there to look through, and there were few others there to search through the inventory.

An hour later, we emerged with many more treasures, gleefully stating and restating how little we had spent.

Over the course of two days, this is what I managed to accumulate:


Because I know it really just looks like a pile of junk on a kitchen table, I've done an inventory:

~ 16 outfits (By "outfit" I mean ensembles of two or more pieces, be it a jumpsuit and a hat, or pants and a shirt, or skirt and onesie, or whatever.)
~ 17 sleepers (including gowns, sleepsacks, and footie pajamas)
~ 11 onesies
~ 3 pairs of pants
~ 16 bibs
~ 8 hats
~ 17 pairs of socks
~ 2 pairs of shoes
~ 3 blankets
~ 1 diaper bag

The amazing thing - and I do mean amazing - is the price at which I managed to steal it all away.

$84.

It sounds like a lot of money, maybe, but I've done some research and found that outfits are somewhere between about $10 and $25 at stores like Target and WalMart, while outfits at specialty stores like Baby Gap and Gymboree run about $50. Several of the outfits I found were from Baby Gap, and several items were from Gymboree. I think I did pretty well, especially considering the range of sizes I was able to get.

Here are a few of our favorite items:

Recognize this pattern? Yup. It's a "Guess How Much I Love You" sleeper.........

...........with bunny feets!

A brand new Gymboree hat - .50

baby Keds - $1

Gap overalls - $2

3-piece purple hippo outfit....with hat! - $1

The moral of the story: Consignment sales are good. Very, very good. I'm no pro at this whole "bargain hunting" business, but I feel pretty good about all of that.

23 Weeks

I'm still feeling good, but I do feel different this week. She has been moving around so much, which has been wonderful (and has led to many attempts, in vain, of catching her moving on camera). I think she's actually moved into a new position yesterday or today, because I'm feeling pressure and cramping in weird places. I'll leave it at that.

I've had a lot of tendon pain, too, and the beginnings of foot cramps. I think some of that is due to the fact that I didn't eat any bananas for several days. I won't make that mistake again. It only takes one or two nights of waking up unable to move because of searing pain in my side to make me think about what I can do to fix it. All I know is that when I was eating a banana a day, that didn't happen; when I laid off the bananas for a few days, it happened again. That's all I need to know!

I'm still hungry all the time, but I think I'm getting used to managing it. For a little while it seemed to blindside me every time I felt like I needed to eat, as though I had subconsciously thought, "I just ate, so I'll be good for a long while." Now, though, even if I've just eaten when I leave the house and only plan to be gone for an hour, I have snacks stashed everywhere, just in case. The strange thing about the hunger, though, is that it never seems to go through that slight feeling of "getting hungry." There seem to be three stages: 1)I've just eaten, 2)I am eating, or 3)I must eat immediately. I go from feeling full to fully experiencing that gnawing hunger that threatens to do me in.

Since the baby has been moving a lot, I think I'm starting to notice a pattern as to when she moves most frequently. After meals are always active times, of course. Late morning and during the evening are also good times for her, as those are the times I'm most consistently able to feel her moving around in there. She does not like my seat belt, I don't think, and she is either really fond of the laptop computer or really, really does not like it. Those two things seem to bring on miniature fits.

We have a doctor's appointment this Friday, so we're excited about that. It should be a really straightforward one - in and out - so there aren't really any nerves or jitters about this one.

One Track Mind

My answer: "I eat."

Her question, as I perceived it: "What do you do?"

Her question, as it actually was: "When are you due?"

Much laughter ensued.

22 Weeks

Incredible. These pictures will never not be weird to me, I don't think. Last night, as Scott was taking the weekly profile pictures, I lifted my shirt for the bare belly shots as I do every week. Last night, though, his eyes got really big and he waited for a minute before he took the picture. "Wow. That's really big!" he said. This is one time in my life that he's allowed to say something like that. I like it.

I've been feeling great this week. Frequent movements from our little girl give me lots of peace of mind, and I'm starting to feel more connected to her as I know she can hear me and I can feel her. I sing to her and talk to her and read to her all the time. It's so special.

I've had an absolutely insatiable appetite. Absolutely insatiable. I eat constantly and even if I should get full, it doesn't last long at all.

A few days ago I was feeling so much movement and pressure, too, that I actually thought something was pressing up against me from the outside. I looked down and instead of seeing something pressing on me, I saw a humongous bulge on my baby bump. She was repositioning herself, apparently. Then for a couple of days I didn't feel her moving nearly as much, but I had a stomachache.....and then yesterday the stomachache went away and I've felt her almost constantly since then. Yesterday I actually tried to take a nap but couldn't because she was moving so much!

We're getting more and more excited, and it's seeming more and more real.

21 Weeks

Oy. We're definitely thickening up. I'm thinking that those shorts are going into hibernation, and soon. Yikes.

In any case, this was another good week. Lots of movement from little one, and lots of fun for mommy as the mother-daughter bonding commences in full force. Scott has even felt her move around a couple of times, too, which is exciting for me as he can experience this in a new way.

I feel really good! I've been eating well, I think, and am really trying to be good about drinking a lot of water. I've had some random pains - mostly in my back - but it's normally short-lived and relatively easily remedied. Really, my biggest challenge of late is getting a good night's sleep. I've tried cutting back on my afternoon naps (some) and that's helping a little. Really, it's the dreams and random shooting pains through my sides that are the problem. A couple of times a week I get such strong pains in my side that I really think I'm going to have to wake Scott up to help me roll over in hopes of getting to a better position. The pain only comes during the night, which is good and bad.

My shape is definitely changing, as I am starting to fit rather nicely into some of the maternity clothes I've inherited. My belly button is definitely starting to do something weird, too.

I had one scary incident this week, which I have every reason to believe was a random occurrence. Saturday I was at the church working on stage design for our new series with a couple of others from the Worship Design Team. I was holding up a dowel with some fabric on it while John stapled and rigged it to hang from the ceiling. I started feeling really, really dizzy and just generally weird, and I told everyone there that I wasn't feeling so good. The next thing I know, I see my friends Joy and Sabrina hovering over me, with Scott standing and looking pretty alarmed. Joy said, "Honey, are you okay? Are you with us?" Gradually, as I came to, I understood what had happened: I fainted. John caught me by the arm so I didn't fall on my belly and Joy laid me down; it was only about 3 or 4 seconds before I regained consciousness and full awareness of my surroundings. We think it was a combination of delicate factors that caused it. I was getting hungry, I was hot from the lights on the stage, and I may have locked my knees. None of those things are great, but together they proved to be my downfall. I was well taken care of, though, and I'm not worried. I'm told it's pretty normal.

We've completed our baby registry, too. That was fun and a relief. After we picked up the crib last week, too, Scott brought it inside piece by piece. It's not put together yet, since the nursery hasn't been painted, but I can tell you already that it's beautiful. Very exciting.

We're basically busy just anticipating our little girl's arrival, throwing names around (we think we've really got it this time), and enjoying this season of life. It's a whirlwind, but it's wonderful.

A new list?

Things I've said since being pregnant that I wouldn't have said before:

"We need to stand somewhere else, because this trash can smells really good."

Making Room For Baby: Project #1, Phase #2

Remember this?

And this?

And, finally, this?

The closet project continued a couple of weekends ago. Scott had been working on the closet a little bit at a time, and on Saturday morning his dad came to help him put the floors down.

Poor thing had to work in the nasty insulation.

He had to reroute the air vents so that they wouldn't get in the way of the walls and floors. He impresses me!

See the tape measure? The closet will be HUGE! It's 11 x 4 1/2....or 11 1/2 x 4. I can't remember. Either way, it's going to be amazing!

Dad joins the party.

A floor!

Almost ready for walls......

to be continued..........