My Sweet 15 Month-Old

Sweet Leah,

You are 15 months old today.

I know there will come a day when the eighth day of every month won’t take me back to that clear, cold January day when we met you. I know that with every day that passes, we are closer to a day when your age will be measured in years, rather than months. I know that a day will come when you won’t want to hear how incredibly you are changing and growing, but I can assure you that there will never be a day that your changing and growing does not amaze me.

Fifteen months.

You are such a joy to us, sweet girl. You can’t even imagine.

I have so, so much fun being your mama. You make me laugh so hard every day, and I always say that if laughter makes us live longer, I’m going to be around forever because of you. You make me laugh when you’re playing….eating….dancing….even when you’re getting into trouble. I know it’s counterproductive to try to discipline you while I’m smiling at you, so I have to bite my lip as I tell you “no.” The curious way you look at me, though, makes it nearly impossible. You look so intrigued by my adamancy sometimes that I really think you do things over and over just to get me to look all serious again.

Going places with you is a joy. I know that, too, will probably change all too soon, but in the meantime, I love going “bye-bye” with you. You make friends everywhere we go, smiling and waving and flirting with everyone we pass. Sometimes I feel like we are on a God-given mission to cheer up everyone in the store…as though you are literally a little beacon of joy sent into the sadness of people’s lives. I know that’s what you are to me.

People tell me how pretty you are all the time, and while your daddy and I certainly know it to be true, I have to wonder sometimes if you really are an extraordinarily beautiful little girl. The thing about it, though, is that as your mama, I know that it’s an inner beauty that’s radiating outward. As you learn to talk more and more, I can’t wait to get to know more of that beautiful little spirit that God has placed within you. You’re so precious to me.

I pray for you every night, sweetheart. I stand over your bed and, while I listen to your deep breathing and whimpers of sleep, I pray that God will draw you close to Him. I pray that He will nurture your soul and will remove anything that hinders you from becoming the woman He has created you to be. I pray that He will embed His truths deep into your heart and cause you to always know who and whose you are. I pray that He will teach me to be the mama you need me to be. I don’t pretend to know what you need from me, but I know that God – who placed those needs inside of you – knows just what and who you need me to be. It’s only with His help that I can mother you the way I should.

Sweet girl, I love you so much. I hope we’re doing right by you in everything, and that you will always know how much you are loved. You are a gem, and I am so thankful that God has chosen me to be your mama.

Love,

Mama