The father of one of my mentors passed away the other day, and Scott and I had made plans to go to the visitation at the funeral home. It was our normal cell group night, so we had already arranged for Scott’s mom to watch Leah. Problem was, though, that we lived in the central locale between my mother-in-law and the funeral home. As a result, my schedule went something like this:
Take Leah to Grandma, 12 miles in one direction.
Meet Scott at home.
Drive 20 miles in the complete opposite direction to the funeral home.
Come back to the house to swap cars. (The car with the car seat is not the one with the more efficient mileage; therefore, we took the efficient one while we could.)
Drive the 12 miles back to Scott’s mom’s house to get Leah.
Come back home.
Add in traffic (as a good bit of this was happening during rush hour) and time spent at either end of the commute, and you get a pretty full and hectic evening. At some point early in the evening, I started feeling sorry for myself and the “inconvenience” the evening afforded me. As soon as the pity party began, though, it met an abrupt end.
“Jess!” I thought. “How dare you! Someone’s father has died, and that is the reason for all of this. How could you be so selfish? Not to mention the selflessness of your in-laws…….always willing and eager to watch Leah when need be……how could you overlook that? Step outside of your little bubble. See what you have, how much you have to be thankful for, and have a little compassion.”
The word “convicted” doesn’t even begin to describe it. Whoo.
3 of your thoughts:
Don't be too hard on yourself. That sounds like a very full plate for one evening so it is totally understandable to get a little flustered. While it is important to keep the big picture in mind its the little things that get us from one point to another (literally and figuratively) and those things impact us as well. Sorry to hear about the loss.
I think having a little bit of a stress-out moment is completely natural. Anytime someone dies it feels like every selfish thought you have is inappropriate but that's life. Our lives still go on.
I used to pass this church sign that always got to me. The message was only up for a couple of weeks but it made a huge impact on me every time I saw it. It read: "If you're too busy to be nice, you're too busy."
Don't be so hard on yourself! There is always SOMEONE who has a rougher day than you but that doesn't mean your day isn't hard. We all have to live in our own world and have our own struggles. Maybe the important thing to take away is - when you're the one having the *really* bad day, remember to be sensitive to others whose days may not be "as bad" as yours, but are filled with their own little struggles (and therefore to appreciate the person who goes out of their way for you on your bad day).
Sorry that was long winded, but I hope it made sense!
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