Here We Go Again

This week is off to a bad start.

I got up yesterday morning with the full intention of returning to work with the rest of the world, following a great Thanksgiving weekend that should have left me rejuvenated and refreshed. However, after being up for a little while, I felt that same old feeling again. The feeling that makes me think, "What am I doing? I can't do this." So I didn't. Scott left for work, and I stayed right where I was, hidden under the covers in the security of my bed. I stayed there most of the day, waking up only long enough to start feeling bad again and then falling asleep again, to a restless and dreamful sleep. Lots of bad dreams, about things I should have done and regrets about my entire life. The bad thoughts I had when I woke up, though, were bad enough to make me want the dreams again. I don't know what's going on, exactly, but I know I don't want this again. I don't want this anymore.....yet I've relived yesterday again today. And tomorrow? We can only hope that I'll be lured outside of these walls to face the world.

Thanksgiving was great, though. Lots of family time and lots of laughter. I needed that.