Anointing

This morning at church was powerful. I say that sometimes and I have to wonder if it becomes overused....cliche somehow so that it doesn't mean quite what it did the first time. It was powerful, though, and it's left me with a different kind of feeling all day. Part of its hold on me could be due to my absence from church for the past two weeks - my weaknesses got the better of me and I hid from it all - and today, going back was so refreshing. I say where I never sit - up close to the band, where the music is so loud that I can't worry about whether or not the lady in front of me is thinking how atrocious my singing is or how silly the world might think I look raising my hands to God like that. I just let myself get absorbed in it, and let the music take me out of myself and carry me away somewhere. The sermons was on getting past the past which, if you know me or have read many of my posts, you know can be an issue for me. I realized through the message that God really, really wants to restore me and He really, really hurts when He sees me hurting. I came to understand that in order for Him to do anything about my brokenness, I have to cooperate and acknowledge that I am, in fact, broken, and let Him do what He needs to do (or do what He needs ME to do) to heal. I also realized more than ever how much brokenness from the past affects my future, which has been happening to me more and more lately. I can't just say, "I'll ignore it and let it go away," or, "Maybe if I don't think about it, it'll be like it never happened." That doesn't work, and today I had to face some of those demons. We had the opportunity to be anointed with oil and prayed over very specifically, by telling one of the two ministers there what we have going on and what God needs us to be healed of. We had to write it on paper, and I actually titled mine: God's Restoration Plan For Me. That's what it is. There are very specific things He needs me to be healed from so that I can live the abundant life He has for me, and I have to face those things directly, head on, before anything can happen. I received very comforting words from the minister (not my usual one - his line was forever long) and cried very healing, cleansing tears..... It was a good thing.