A Pocket Full of Rocks

Leah seems to have a personality that is prone to hoarding. Wherever she is and whatever she’s doing, I can guarantee that she has a handful (or two) of something, be it rocks, leaves, cereal, beaded necklaces, or bottles of nail polish. It is as though she is in constant fear that either the supply is on the verge of running out or that Mommy is going to swoop in and take it all away from her. (I should mention here that the latter does, in fact, happen a good deal. She’s learned the pattern; when I say, “Whatcha got, Leah?” she takes off running, knowing full well that whatever it is, she probably is about to lose it.)

As I was watching her the other day, I felt so frustrated for her. She had her hands full of little pebbles, but wanted to pick up a leaf. She bent over, over and over, trying to get it with her one spare finger, but couldn’t. She finally gave up, content to walk around with her rocks.

That made me think.

I don’t collect small rocks or dried-up leaves. I do, however, hoard things that I think will make me happy. “If I just had those shoes,” I think, “that’d be all I need.” Replace the word shoes with any of a number of things – cell phone, jeans, CD, car, career, friends – and you have the basic idea of many of my thoughts on any given day.

And I do collect those things. I gather them up, clutching them with all I’ve got, unwilling to let them go because they, I think, are essential. Then something better comes along. I realize that this new thing – this new way of living for something other than myself and my own aspirations of what my life should be – could be the answer. Somewhere in my awareness I know that the new thing is really what I need – it’s to me what the leaf was to Leah, in a matter of speaking – and I want it. I need it, but I don’t have the hands to grab it. There’s no time for it. There’s no room in the life I’ve carefully created. I try to grab at it…try to grasp it with the last finger remaining…but there’s no use. I cannot have that life while simultaneously clutching the useless items I’ve hunted and gathered. Something has to go…and I just hope that this time, it won’t be the one that matters.

Don't store treasures for yourselves here on earth where moths and rust will destroy them and thieves can break in and steal them. But store your treasures in heaven where they cannot be destroyed by moths or rust and where thieves cannot break in and steal them. Your heart will be where your treasure is. (Matthew 6:19-21)

This is what the Lord says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. (Jeremiah 9:23-24)