Thankful Hearts

I’m doing some thinking today on the idea of gratitude. I had my follow-up appointment with my surgeon today, and as he walked into the room and asked how I’ve been doing, the gratitude to him – for seeing a need and being willing, at last, to do what needed to be done – flowed freely. I almost jumped up and gave him a hug. I’ve been feeling so much better, and actually didn’t realize how bad I felt before until I didn’t feel that way any more. I told my doctor so, and told him that he’s my hero. I love him for what he did and for the difference it has made in my life. It was important to me that he know how thankful I am for him and what he did.

As I drove away from the office, though, something in my heart was uneasy. I couldn’t put my finger on it until I realized, with sadness, that the gratitude I felt for my newfound health outweighed the gratitude I feel on a daily basis for my life. Someone did something infinitely greater for me, though I did not deserve it, and I regularly act as though it is no big deal.

When we were unable to help ourselves, at the right time, Christ died for us, although we were living against God. Very few people will die to save the life of someone else. Although perhaps for a good person someone might possibly die. But God shows his great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:6-8)

He did that for me, and I – like a spoiled child – take it for granted. Yes, I know I have been saved from certain death. Yes, I realize with clarity that my life is vastly different today than it ever would have been without the saving grace of God. Yes, I love my life and cringe to think of the path I was walking before. But do I live like I’m really thankful? Do I give Him my thanks every day, from a heart overflowing with gratitude, or are my thanks shallow and obligatory? “God, thank you for what you’ve done.” “Lord, thank you for saving me from myself.” Yawn. Amen. Move on. What’s next?

It makes me sad to realize how different my thanks are for temporal, earthly things than they are for something with such a profound eternal implication. There was a time a few years ago when my gratitude was boundless; today, though, that has faded. Just as my gratitude for my health (and my appreciation for the doctor who made it possible) will one day fade, my thankfulness for what Jesus did has, sadly, dimmed with time.

It probably sounds like I’m beating myself up for this, and in a way, I am. I feel like Paul must have in the New Testament when he cried out about his struggle with the flesh. I think this condition of ungratefulness is universal, and is one that we – if we recognize it – must fight against.

“Gratitude is a burden upon our imperfect nature, and we are but too willing to ease ourselves of it, or at least to lighten it as much as we can.” (Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl Chesterfield (1694–1773), British statesman)

We are too willing to say “thank you” for something and, with time, to forget the impact it had on our lives. I am too willing to pray a prayer of thanks for the life that God has given me without ever really feeling the power of the words I’m saying. I don’t like that about myself. I am challenging myself to a life of boundless gratitude….to people who make an impact on my life, and to the One who makes it all possible in the first place.