Overhead Page

Attention, Goodwill shoppers.

Effective immediately, we will be enforcing some new policies regarding customer behavior.

When browsing through our store, please remember to observe cultural standards of personal space. Do not stand closer to other shoppers than their own spouses would stand. Do not make other shoppers feel like they are physically chained to you. Stand back. This will make the shopping experience more enjoyable for us all.

If another customer has something in his or her hand that you happen to like, do not take it from them. Do not claim it seems to match something you already have in your cart, and that it therefore is supposed to be purchased as part of a set. If someone else has shown interest in an item, it is understandable that the item would then be of more interest to you. (You know.....the old "grass is greener," idea.") However, this is Goodwill. Whoever sees it first has it. Period. It does not matter that the other customer wants to buy the item for her own child and you - you saint, you - want to get it for the nursery at your church. Wait until the other customer decides she does not want it. Then it becomes fair game again.

If you run into long-lost family friends, do not block the entire book section while you catch up on what has happened to each of you since you were all in diapers. Kindly move to a less-populated section of the store. Try, perhaps, the basket section. It is ridiculously large anyway.

Our dressing rooms are small. Inhumanely small, in fact. If you try on clothing and decide you do not want it, please take it back out of the dressing room. Perhaps we can have a rack outside to facilitate compliance with this rule. Wait.....we already do. This is an old rule. Why aren't you already doing this???

Kind Goodwill shoppers, thank you for your attention. Oh, and pay no attention to the disgruntled young woman shaking her head as she walks to her car. These rules were all her idea.