“What’s He Really Thinking?” by Paula Rinehart

It is no secret that men and women are different. As soon as children realize that there is such a thing as a “girl” and a “boy,” they begin recognizing and pointing out the differences between them. From there, simple recognition escalates into curiosity, annoyance, and irritation….but rarely, if ever, do the differences between the sexes God so deliberately designed ever receive the appreciation that is due them.

No, the recognition of our differences that began around age five is, by the time we reach age thirty or so, replaced by a general sense of aggravation; it is hard to find a woman who can honestly say she appreciates and enjoys the differences between herself and the men in her life. Rather, the differences that God intended for enlightenment to His nature are more often seen as a sort of punishment.

“Why can’t he be more like me?”

“I don’t understand where he’s coming from…. It would be so much easier if we just thought about things the same way.”

On and on our complaints go, girlfriend to girlfriend. What we really need, though, is not a magical transformation that makes men more like us. What we need is a radical shift in our thinking that reveals why men are the way they are and how they really function in light of their obvious differences from us.

Enter the book What’s He Really Thinking: How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life. I recently received a copy of this book by Paula Rinehart to read and review, and I loved it.

I’ve been a student, you could say, of the differences between men and women for several years now. (It’s no coincidence that the beginning of my studies coincides roughly with the start of my relationship with my husband.) I’ve read different books and had many conversations with other women who also desire to know more about the men they love and want to have fulfilling, Godly relationships with the man with whom they have partnered their lives.

My intrigue in the differences between men and women permeates much of who I am and, in reality, clouds my view of things sometimes. Just last weekend, this comic strip appeared in our local paper.

When I read it, my eyes immediately wandered up to the byline because, as I suspected, the comic had to have been written by a man to express such an idea. A woman would not write something like that because really……rare is the time when woman wants to avoid chitchat.

Seriously.

No, men and women are different, and Paula Rinehart really gets it. She is a counselor who, after years of talking with men in counseling sessions and thereby receiving unlimited insight into their hearts, put her thoughts on paper. This isn’t another standard book about the gender differences, e.g. “Men don’t want to listen – they want to solve our problems,” and, “Women are far more interested in the emotional aspects of relationships, while men are inordinately preoccupied with the physical.” No. This is a book that goes deeper, expressing why men are the way that they are and challenging women to look at men the way God does. Why did God make men this way? What blessing does God have for me in the way that He made this man?

This book digs deep into the souls of men and into the interactions we women have with them, and is one I’ll be recommending to my girlfriends with whom I’ve have those bewildered conversations. It’s time we recognized that men aren’t women with big feet and beards, as Rinehart says, but are completely other. (p. 2) With that recognition comes a little more understanding, and with just a tiny bit more understanding may come a lot more love and infinitely more fulfillment for all of us. That’s what God intended, and I – for one – am ready to move past annoyance into true appreciation and respect.

Other than receiving a free copy of this book, I was in no way compensated for my review, nor was I obligated in any way to review the book positively.