After The Freeze

For awhile, I’ve felt frozen. Frozen in time….frozen in place….frozen emotionally when it came to my relationship with the Lord. I saw Him moving, and felt His hand, for sure, but had a sense that what I was experiencing was not all that it could be. I knew this to be true, in fact, because I was not doing my part to pursue Him in response to His unfailing pursuit of me. In the time I have been following Him and getting to know Him, I have learned that there is no such thing as standing still; I am always either moving forward or sliding backward, and inactivity results inevitably in a backslide.

I have resolved, though, to get moving again. This resolution has nothing to do with the beginning of a new year and the promises one makes at that time, but is more the product of a desire to find a fire that I have lost.

Don't let my love grow cold
I'm calling out
Light the fire again
Don't let my vision die
I'm calling out
Light the fire again
You know my heart, my deeds
I'm calling out
Light the fire again
I need Your discipline
I'm calling out
Light the fire again
I am here to buy gold
Refined in the fire
Naked and poor
Wretched and blind I come
Clothe me in white
So I won't be ashamed
Lord, light the fire again

(Brian Doerksen)

I’ve made a promise to myself, and the feeling of just making that promise is like that of the first glimpses of springtime. I feel like my heart and my spirit have been on ice, and are thawing. I feel like part of me is waking up after a long, hard sleep, only to find that things are brighter and more vibrant than even my dreams could have conceived. There is a hope in this figurative springtime that extinguishes the darkness and cold of winter. There is a sense of new beginnings that I can’t explain. Springtime is authentic – what you see is what you get – and no frost or sheath of ice can cover what is happening; I feel this in my heart, and I sense, somehow, that it is becoming visible outside, too. Sunshine breaks through and – by God’s grace – all that He has been working on is revealed.

Also by His grace, His works in me will be continued and will come to completion in this springtime of my heart. I celebrate and rejoice in the promises of a God who is always there waiting for a time when the ice on our hearts melts away and the beauty of life is uncovered. Like God Himself, the beauty is there, waiting, and just waits to be experienced.

And like winter, periods of backsliding do not last forever if we are willing to let the light in. With the light, ice melts away and new growth is made possible. I believe that and I feel that and I know it to be true.

After the freeze, there is life. It is there, waiting for us to find it.

(All pictures were taken by me, in our yard, as the ice and snow of the recent storm melted off.)