A Birthday Letter to My Daughter

Leah turns one year old tomorrow. I've decided that I will write her a birthday letter every year. Obviously, I won't be giving it to her this year, since she can't read it, and I haven't decided when I'll begin giving them to her to read. I'm going to collect them all for her, though, in a box, so she has them to keep. They'll be about what has happened in that year....how she's growing and changing....and will include things that I think a little girl needs to hear from her mom.

This is the first one.

Dear Leah,

I know it won’t mean much to you now, but I have to say it: I cannot believe that you are a year old. I really just can’t believe that it has been 12 months. 52 weeks of 7 days……. I won’t lie. Some of those days seemed very, very long, and some of those nights seemed even longer. Put together, though, the days have flown, and the weeks have gone quicker than ever before in my life.

You have been such a precious addition to our lives. Your daddy and I talk sometimes about how different our lives are now; we were happy before, for sure, but your arrival into our family has made us happier and more complete. Our family of three is complete.

There are so many things I would love to recount for you about your first year. The time has gone so quickly. There are so many things that I hope, so badly, that I’ve recorded and captured in pictures, both for you and for me in the years to come.

I remember the way you used to stick your left foot in the air when in the bathtub, flaring your toes as if to tell me that I had missed a spot. Once I wiped down those toes a few times, I remember how you would lean back and cross your ankles…completely relaxed.

I remember the way you used to whimper and squeal as soon as we would pick you up to burp you, and those whimpers escalating to screams and the “silent but deadly” scream, as though you were concerned we weren’t going to let you finish eating.

I remember your high-pitched “nah!” you used to say when we weren’t paying attention to you, and the mischievous grin when we looked back at you.

I remember the way you used to suck on any fingers you could get to your mouth. Often it was the middle two, and the other two fingers would be pressed flat against your face.

I remember the way you would wring your hands once you found them, and your amazement at your feet when you had shoes on.

I remember how you would always say “ohhhhhh” after a hiccup.

I remember the way you used to suck your upper lip, before all of those teeth came in!

I remember that you would always lick any cloth that was close enough to your face. You loved the feel of cotton or soft cloth on your tongue, and would lick your burp cloths and bibs and blankets and even our shirts when anyone would hold you. As you’ve gotten more coordinated with your hands, you’ve always loved to pull things to you and suck on them….especially the tags! I’ll never forget your obsession with tags.

I remember how people’s sneezes terrified you. (They still do!)

I remember the adorable “rosebud” mouth you’d do all the time…puckering your lips and looking like you’re saying, “oooh.”

I remember the way you would grin when I’d put something cute on you, as though you really knew how cute you were. (You still do this, too!)

I remember your “roar” and your “cough” that you did all the time. Sometimes they still come out when you’re playing, and I love hearing them again.

There are so many things I hope I never forget, sweet girl. Those little things you do have brought us so much joy – joy that only another parent could understand. It’s inexplicable, really, how the tiniest little things you do – when you’re just being you – warm my heart and light up my world. Even on the most frustrating days, when I’m tired and you’re tired and the day seems to go on and on, I am so thrilled and so joyous to be your mommy. I thank God for you every day…for choosing me to be your mommy, for blessing our lives with you, for the way He is teaching me through you. I’m your mommy and it’s my job to teach you about the world, but honey, you’ve taught me so much. I think I’m a better version of myself because of you.

You’ve come such a long way from that tiny little newborn we met last January, and I know with every fiber of my being that God has phenomenal plans for your life. You are His masterpiece, sweet girl, and there could never, ever be a more beautiful, perfect you. He created you with a purpose and a plan, and you are the only one who could fill the place He has for you in the world. I can’t wait to see what His plans are for you…but I’m content if the days go slowly. I want to hold on to you as long as I can.

You’re precious and beloved. Always know that.

Happy first birthday, sweetheart. The best is yet to come.

Love always and forever,

Mommy