Self-Esteem Boot Camp

Since I've been at home so much over the past few weeks, I've gotten in the bad habit of daytime TV....namely, shows on TLC like 10 Years Younger and What Not To Wear. Now, there are plenty of perfectly good shows on TLC, like the Baby Story and the Wedding Story and all, but I can't quite decide if the other two aforementioned shows are trash or not. Here's my thought.

If you've never watched these shows, basically someone nominates a friend, coworker, spouse, etc. for this makeover process. In 10 Years Younger, which is my least favorite, it's someone who has let themselves go - in one way or another, or lots of ways - and needs something to help them look more their age. It's often people who have just gone through a divorce and the resulting feelings of failure and depression, or someone who has spent 20 years taking care of her family and has given no thought to her own appearance. They take the person (usually a woman) through all of these steps to make her look "10 years younger": porcelain veneers for her teeth, facials and botox for her wrinkles, hairstylists and makeup artists to redo her look, and a wardrobe consultant to put her in clothes that make her look spunky and more her age. After a week, they put her back in the glass box (literally) she started in to have the public eyeball her and decide how old she looks, which will - hopefully - be 10 years younger than they thought she looked a week earlier. In What Not To Wear, they take someone with little or no fashion conscious and completely trash their old wardrobe....literally throwing every article of previously worn clothing into a trash bin for donation to a worthy cause. One week and $5000 later, they've "created" this whole new person, with a new look and greater confidence than they had at the beginning. New clothes that better fit their style and body, new hairstyle and makeup tips, and on and on. Family members, coworkers, friends, etc. are all thrilled, screaming and raving at the end of both shows.

And here's what I think. That's all so superficial, and they might be doing more harm than good. Sure, the person ON the show comes out of it happy after a week, with all new designer clothes and hairstyles and all, but what happens later? What have they essentially taught them over the course of their training? That appearance is ridiculously important. (I added the "ridiculously" part.) Sure, they tell them things like, "potential employers need something impressive to build a first impressive on," and, "you're going to feel so much more confident," and, "NOW you look like a professional!" but still. The person comes away with this feeling, I imagine, that says, "If I look like poo, that's what I'm worth." Even if it doesn't come out during their post-makeover celebration or over the next few weeks while they try out all of their great new outfits, I think that's the message that will, eventually, come out.

And for the viewers at home? As for myself, I've learned just what I said above: "Appearance is everything, and looking bad (like poo) makes you poo and people are laughing at you." All right, fine. So there might be something to making a good impression and all, but it's NOT EVERYTHING. PLUS, who has $5000 to start over and make themselves look like a new person? I'd like to see a show that says, "You're broke? One a crazy low budget? Here's how to redo your look. Here's what K-Mart can do for you!" Not to mention, there's that little thing lingering under the surface that never really gets addressed: SELF ESTEEM. They come into the show feeling bad, because people are telling them they look bad (that would make anyone feel like poo) and then, magically, just because they look "better," they're supposed to feel better. Insecurities? Gone. Feelings of inadequacy? Gone. Come on, people! Call me cynical, but I don't think so.

I watch the shows, go take my shower, and try to get dressed.....only to hear the voices of the shows' hosts in my head. "What are you thinking?" they say. "You're 25! You shouldn't dress like that! What do you think people think when they look at you?" As a result, I feel like....you guessed it.....poo. None of my clothes are designer (unless Target is actually designer) and I doubt they fit me as the stylists would say they should. I get anxious, scared, and nervous as heck to go anywhere, because I'm afraid of what someone would say. A self-confident person wouldn't care, but me? I think we all know that self-confidence has never been a strong point, and now TV tells me that maybe I SHOULDN'T be confident. Because LOOK AT ME! I'm a mess!

You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see a show that accepts people just as they are, and puts them through something of a self-esteem boot camp. This is why you're wonderful, and this is why we want you to feel wonderful. You're beautiful. Your clothes are outside, and your heart is inside. You're a good person, and we're going to prove it to you. Take a week or so to do nothing but boost up their self esteem. Nothing superficial at all. Teach normal people to feel good about their normal lives and their normal appearances. There are, after all, more people who can't go on those spectacular makeover shows than those that can go on them, and the rest of us need something to help us stop feeling like poo.