Repurposed

Leah and Scott in the pool…..just one of the diversions occupying my time these days.

It’s been awhile since I wrote publicly. I don’t know if anyone out there has missed my words, but I have certainly missed the process of getting those words down on “paper.”

The break was never planned. They rarely are, I find, and are most fruitful when they come about on their own rather than after planning and purposing. This has been a time of reflection and pursuit of other things. It has been a good thing – an opportunity to see myself and life with fresh eyes – even if I have missed my old dusty blog and the arduous (at times) process of straightening out these muddled thoughts into something that makes sense. I’m back, though, if only for now.

Over the past few weeks, the Lord has been working in me to show me something….what, though, is still somewhat undetermined. I’ve been dealing with the fervent conviction that I am somehow missing the mark….falling short of what I could and should be in my personal life. As often happens to me, one area of my life will be blossoming and blooming and yielding fruit of all colors and sizes while another area of my life seems to wither. I could theorize as to why that might be – whether one causes the other, for instance, or whether I’m made aware of imperfections in one area to keep me humble while another area of life threatens to swell my ego – but the truth is that it happens, and when it does I have to deal with it.

I’m embarking now on a journey of repurposing myself in my roles of wife and mother. I’ve felt convicted of ways I might be selling myself and my family short, and have finally decided it’s time to do something about it. In a staff meeting a few weeks ago, my pastor said (in reference to something unrelated) that sometimes it’s time to just grow up and do what we’re supposed to do. Those words have burned in my ears and on my mind; I think now is the time for me to grow up and embrace who I should be to my family. It’s time. No more excuses. No more distractions. Just prayerful pursuit of the woman I was made to be.

So my husband and my daughter, by no choice of their own, are accompanying me on this journey and will, hopefully, enjoy the trip. We all may never reach the ultimate destination, but hopefully we’ll get to see the target growing closer on the horizon as we travel together toward the life we’re meant to live as a family.

I don’t know what kind of vistas we’ll find on our way, but I’m eager to share the process with all of you. Maybe my trek toward more purposeful living will inspire similar changes in your lives as the intentional lifestyles of friends have inspired me. Either way, I’m glad to have a venue to share my thoughts along the way.